Fundamentals of Oral Communication, SPCH 10. Who knew that the things I am learning in this class would be so helpful and useful in my life. I think this class is helping me identify myself by looking at the things that shaped me into who I am right now.
Today in class, we talked about how oneself is constructed, and people's different attachment styles. My professor told us that 60~70% of our personality comes from the genetics, and the other forty percent is shaped by the nurture factors. From this, I realized that my shyness and introverted characteristics were passed down from my dad. I should have known haha. But, he tells me that I still have a pretty nice personality for an introvert. I'm wondering if he is telling me the truth, or just encouraging me... Hm...
As for the attachment style, I discovered that I am mainly an "anxious/preocupied," along with secure attachment style. Anxious attachment is basically being clingy(varies by how mild your attachment is)and it seeks high level of intimacy. The secure attachment means that one is comfortable in both intimacy and independence, who is okay with being in relationship or being independent. I can see myself being in both attachments, but I know that the anxious one stands out more than the other from hearing the explanations of why these attachments occur. I know for sure that I don't overly value independence like dismissive attachments, which is good! At least I'm not super cold hearted or be passive about relationships and people.
I knew that I have such personalities, but never knew why I had them or what exactly influenced me to be shaped like this. I found out that anxious attachment is caused due to unpredictable past relationships, which is true. The professor gave us an example where a person who continuously had to form new relationships due to breaking of previous. From my past, my parents were not always there when I was in Korea. I remember when my childhood was mostly spent with my grandma, as my mom told me that she basically raised me when I was little. And my dad wasn't around home throughout my childhood because he was always out of the city or the country for work or educational purpose. Lastly, my whole immigration to Canada, and America, and attending so many different schools where I had to start over again and again plays a great role too. When I was looking back at all this, I remember the crazy emotional and mental stress and struggles that I had to go through. I even have evidence of these struggles from my old writings and blog posts. Pretty depressing readings.
There were so many things about the "self", personalities, and more about ONESELF. I didn't know that we were so influenced by communications and interactions among people in our lives. The discoveries of how I came to be shaped like this from my class really reminded me of the talk I had with Pastor David. He was telling me about this book called "How We Love". He was talking about how his past experiences came back to his present, influencing his actions(I think the story was something like this). But, the suggested book has changed and influenced a lot of how to ask for healing of the past wounds and such. I am going to check this book out soon or later for sure!
I think God is just so amazing that he is also giving me the same opportunity where I learn to accept my past and turn to God for the change and healing. It is really a time for a change, where I am able to surrender and let go of my past and be renewed for the better. I know that I cannot provide a better lifestyle for my future kids if I don't change myself first.
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"
- Philippians 3:13,14 -
Fix my eyes on Jesus!
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