Today (I should say yesterday), has been a long day but February has been such a short month. My weekdays at work seem like it's never moving fast enough, yet according to the calendar, the days add up so fast. To think that I'd be used to being in an office environment by now (8 months and counting), working with people who are 10-+ yrs older than me, or to learn my way into this world of 'network/social-life-work' centric workfoce, I was too quick to conclusion. There is no doubt that in comparison to my first two months of "post-college" working days, I came a long way. I'm seeing that I'm getting into a phase where "the more you learn about a person/thing/place, the more uglies you'll face and learn about". I'm trying very hard to filter through God before I express my discomfort or complaints, but my emotions always get the first dibs. I'm also learning more about myself as I am trying to learn how to accept myself to be comfortable and free being ME through God.
Surprisingly, when it comes to men whom I'm interested in, my emotions are the ones that get the least of me, according to my friends. I hate to admit it, but can't deny it. I've been on this subject with my good dear friend quite often. Now that we are hitting our peak 20's, we are still very single and 'somewhat free to mingle' (or we wished we can find people to mingle with LOL). I have a bad tendency of always comparing myself with the people around me, and in this case is an obvious case. To see my friends being engaged, hearing about their stable relationships, or seeing them living on their own makes me look at where I am in my life. I know that each life is planned differently and uniquely according to God's plan, but there is a thought at the corner of my mind where I dreamed and desired that stability and a settled cruise ride life. Aside from my side tracked story, my short conclusion is that I can 'fake' or put up with trying to be an extrovert when it's required at work, but I cannot do it when it comes to men. I think there might be something wrong with my brain.... or I wished so, to at least have it as an excuse.
It's going to be a new month in less than 24 hrs, the year of 2015 is still beginning to warm up towards the all the beautiful gifts and hopes God has planned out. God has been challenging me this year for a deeper level of relationship with Him and I'm slowly beginning to find my place in God. This year is going to be great, God is going to move, and I believe it with my heart (: Thank you God, Jesus & Holy Spirit!
