FAIL -

This is an epic failure how I end up never writing in my blog in a regular daily basis. I think I pretty much abandonned (?) this blog and now using Tumblr blog more frequently. I'm pretty sure that I post up at least couple of times a week on Tumblr while as once a month blogging on Blogger. But, I think I tend to write serious and more thoughtful writings here. I don't know. I feel that I can be a lot more open and honest when it comes to spilling the beans about my life. I'm still willing to use both of the sites though (:

This week is the third week of my spring semester. The level of work load and stress hasn't decreased since the end of the first week. Yes, this means that my second semester consists nothing but homework, projects, and in-class works. My crazy schedule of having three design classes and two GE didn't turn out as chaotic as I predicted, but I can feel that the work load is piling up as the days pass by. But, I really thank God for allowing me to have an English composition class that is such a blast and simple compared to what I've heard from others. People told me that they had to write essays every week or have three journal entries and etc. In comparison, my class is totally a breeze. I haven't had an essay assignment yet, but I'll be getting it tomorrow as a first assignment. It looked like an easy english class so I even told Noel to switch his english class to mine. If it wasn't for the no homework english class, I wouldn't be able to have enough time to spend on my design projects.

I have 12 sketches due on friday and I obviously haven't started yet. This is for my 6 hour long with an hour lunch break class(technically 5 hour class if you look at it) that I need to complete my assignment. Today is tuesday and I've spent my dinner hour at KCCC YBSJ orientation. Ah, yes, I know I know, but as soon as I came back I had to do my research on residential & commercial bathroom for space planning class. This is the joy I receive for choosing a pathway of an interior designer. I still need to write my concept paragraph and come up with two compositions for my fundamental design class, but apparently I'm sitting in front of my computer typing a blog post. Oh, how much I just love how my brain functions.

YBSJ Orientation was absolutely a surprise and an overwhelming session tonight. I was sitting in the Malibu room listening to Famous KSN talk and just tried to catch all these information being thrown at me. Reading a whole list of commitments that I need to make and the rules that I have to follow really made me think if I wanted to become a SJ. Famous KSN said that the training is really good for us spiritually since it helps us define who we are through God and it allows us to take a step further in our relationship. I do agree with what she have said, but in my opinion is it really necessary to enforce all these "laws" to us? While Amy and I were walking back to our rooms we were discussing how these "enforcements" have turned our thoughts around from being a KCCC SJ. We both are absolutely aware that the QT's, Morning Prayer, Chapel, No Dating, and etc. are really necessary for us. But as KCCC have put it as a system where they force us, I'm not sure if it's going to help me bring myself to God each time in my own will or just to the fact that it has to become a habit. I don't know. I think I need time to digest this or maybe after talking to Famous KSN one on one would help me decide.

I really need to find a church to go to. I feel like I don't belong anywhere around since I don't know anyone and I'm new all the time at the churches. I'm debating whether I should stick to Dasom church or spare more time to look around. My roommate's friend has offered to take me along on her church hoppings. I need prayers. Not able to have a stable foundation on a church that I need every sunday has really shaken my faith and spiritual walk with God from the new semester.

I wrote a lot. I don't know if I can ever actually share my insides to people in person. I tend to take everything and hold it in. I'm pretty sure that this gives me a lot of stress but I don't know who to depend on right now. >< color="#ff0000">JESUS, DEPEND ON GOD! :)", says my pastors. I don't know if Im following it through right these days. HELP!